The Seasons of Friendship
The interweaving of lives and loves
I woke up in the best mood today. I felt light and happy just lying there in bed. You know that feeling when you wake up and before you can remember anything, you know if something good or bad happened the day before? I knew immediately that it was good. Very good.
Yesterday we had lunch with our beloved friend, Eddie, whom we had not seen for MANY years. He had to be down here from Chicago for work and was kind enough to come down a day early so he could spend some time with us. It meant the world to us.
Eddie was married to a friend of mine, a friend I’d known since high school, a friend who was almost a family member, etc. So although we loved him dearly, when they split up we lost touch. We eventually reconnected on Facebook but it wasn’t really until my friend passed away last year (we’d sadly been estranged for some time) that we got in touch again. He said he was sometimes down here for work and that we’d have to get together. When he texted Ernie a few weeks ago to see if we were free on the 12th we were utterly delighted.
He showed up at our house while we were still scrambling to pick up and hide the mess. Ernie answered the door and said something goofy and I heard Eddie’s laugh and, not to sound clichéd, but honestly, time just melted away.
Earlier that morning I had thought to myself that thank God for Facebook as otherwise it would be a shock for him to see me, complete with cane and walker, after all these years. But Eddie? Eddie looked exactly the same.
I kept saying, “oh my God, you look just like Eddie!” When I told him he looked just the same, he said it right back to me. More truth in my assertion than his but we know each other well enough to see the 20 or 30-somethings we once were still shining through.
Eventually we made our way over to the Esquire. We talked and talked and talked. He took a quick meeting on his phone in the other room and then we talked some more. We laughed so hard we almost cried. We threw out memories and questions to each other. “Do you still always regret your food order and think the person next to you ordered better? “Remember when you were a toothpaste tube for Halloween?” Remember the Billy Joe Shaver show at the Double Door when it wasn’t the Double Door but the Main Street Pub, and there were numerous people at the bar missing limbs?” “Remember I had to lecture Ernie that he could NOT match you tequila shot for tequila shot after we poured him into the back seat after a show at Fitzgerald’s?” “Remember when you and Ernie set up that lighted Santa in front of your house and you kept shouting at the other lit up Santas in the neighborhood, “My Santa MOVES you motherfuckers?”
I remembered, and could see, that nobody, other than Owen, can make Ernie laugh so hard or get so red in the face as Eddie. Man, I didn’t even mention the time I was sitting in his loft and he walked around the corner with his accordion and played Here Comes Santa Claus standing in front of me until I laughed so hard I almost wept.
He talked about walking with Leo around the block in Riverside when Leo was two and I reminded him of the vest he’d bought Leo in Scotland.
Oh, and the little architecture book he got for him and got it signed by Denise Scott Brown and Robert Venturi (am I reading that right?). I was a big Learning from Las Vegas fan! Oh, and César Pelli and hmmm…can’t read the other one. I will admit we never let Leo handle that one too much! Too special.
Suffice to say, there is a ton of history between the three of us. I’ve thought a lot about friendship in the last year or so, particularly after the death of my friend and other ups and downs. I’ve been lucky in love but that’s not to say I’ve never had my heart broken. Friendships can weave in and out of our lives and sometimes, like so much in life, it’s easier to see them in hindsight. There are seasons to everything.
Seeing Eddie and feeling that love between us all did my heart good. He teased me when I said that, “Who says that?” but I knew he understood exactly what I meant.
I’m so glad we have another season.
Love you forever Eddie. Merry Christmas to you and your family! ❤️ And remember, I want a video of the Santa Claus, still waving in all his creaking, aging glory.
Onward.