Popsicles and Candlesticks
I woke up sick yesterday. Well, I guess it started the night before when I couldn’t eat dinner and just had a popsicle. I don’t know how I can catch bugs when I barely go out. Although who knows what it was. I always spend way too much time trying to figure out WHY and HOW I got sick, as though to say “It’s not my fault,” but that comes from years of getting sick quite often and working for folks who seemed to consider it a personality flaw. Whatever the reason, I spent yesterday mostly dozing on and off, feeling too sick to read or watch anything.
By evening I perked up a bit and was finally hungry. I obsessively looked at delivery options but nothing really sounded that good, particularly when I figured out how much it would cost. Eventually I used the last of some nice Sola Gratia salad mix with strawberries and and ersatz hummus dressing. My refrigerator is a bit bare these days. I wanted to add lemon juice but my lemons were hard as rocks. I found some bottled lime juice but couldn’t get it open. I looked at the date on it and it was from 2022. Whoops. The salad actually tasted really good. I forgot to add pecans as I planned to. Oh, and I had chick peas I could have added too. Eh, it got the job done. Reminder: time for an Instacart order, Cynthia.
This morning I feel a bit better although I have a headache I can not get rid of for love nor money, which is unusual for me. As I lay in bed trying to wake up I scrolled on my phone and somehow came across this. Have you watched it? You should. I miss him so.
At one point he says, “I would be a different person if I stayed at home all the time,” and goes on to say he worries about what he’ll do when he can’t tour. But of course he didn’t have to worry about that as it turns out, dying on stage in Florida back in 2020. Ah, David. I miss you so.
He’d understand how I feel not being able to wander, not being able to get out. He’d understand why buying a pair of 1840-1860 candlesticks and holding them in my hands, feeling for the rough spots, the connecting wafer, and the heft of the heavy leaded glass makes me feel more myself. I always felt like I understood David Olney and that he understood me. Who knows if I actually understood him whatsoever, I mean there was a LOT going on in that head but, I don’t know, he made me feel more myself too. As I watched this video and listened to him speak I felt my body relax.
In exciting news, we finished sorting through all the cds in my room and the boys moved my dresser down here. It’s a big old thing but I have grown quite fond of Empire dressers as I’ve gotten older. This one was in my grandparents’ basement when I was a little girl and then my parents used it for years. I’m glad to have it here. I’m still not sure what I’ll do with the small dresser I had been using. Once I figure that out I’ll probably have the boys bring down a little Victorian marble topped table that was up in our bedroom as well and put it where the little dresser is right now. It’s much more Victorian than I usually like but it used to be in my grandparents’ guest room and I fell in love with it as a girl just beginning to love antiques so it will please me to have it there. Those connections and circles are important to me. I’d been trying to figure out where to put various things and Leo calmly pointed out that the whole house is still mine, that I don’t have to fit everything in this room. God, I love him. I was weirdly feeling like that. So I decided that I’ll keep the set of shelves in the dining room and put my cds that I save in there, along with the rest of my glass books that still have to come downstairs. Now I have to figure out where the big guitar should go as where it was played havoc with my walker.
And now, as I need to get to work, just some random pictures to close out:
Anybody in need of a pair of shelves like this? The boys were going to take them to Salt and Light yesterday but they wouldn’t fit in the Honda. I have the backing panels for the top as well.
Onward.
Love,
Cynthia