And So It Goes

But where it's goin' no one knows

The day after my surgery I felt like I had the biggest hangover in the world. All that useless emotion amped by the surgeon (ahh, you don’t need surgery, just try some physical therapy he said, he being the one that said I needed surgery. Way to instill confidence, buster.) and the psych consult. I read the surgeon’s notes, it says he called a psych consult due to my response to the surgical plan. I shouldn’t read that crap, it infuriates me.

The day was kind of a loss. Ernie was at Barnes, getting scans (things looked good). I yelled at one of my favorite nurses because I waited three hours for a pain pill. I told Leo and Owen to stay home as I knew all I’d do was cry. Just vague, aimless, meaningless tears all day long.

It was also the day of stupid questions.

Random doctor: Is the doctor going to take your drain out?

Me: Yes

Random doctor: When will he take it out?

Me: I don’t know.

Random doctor: Will he take it out before you leave?

Me: WELL, I DON’T THINK HE’S MAKING A HOUSECALL, LADY.

And then there’s the hospitalist…

Hospitalist: How is your pain since surgery?

Me: Well, I mostly have pain when I’m walking.

Hospitalist: So your pain is better?

Me: Well, I haven’t been up to walk yet.

Hospitalist: So you’re not having pain?

Me: Well, I haven’t been up to walk yet.

Hospitalist: I’m glad it’s going well.

Physical Therapy student and I give each other silent side eyes.

I did get up with the physical therapist and walk to the hallway and back and I even graduated from the commode to the big girl toilet. Woo-hoooo!

I had one loud late night roommate but I could feel all the nurses and CNA’s working to get it quieter and darker for me. They finally kicked the husband out, bless them.

I almost cried when they took the catheter out right after surgery…I really just wanted sleep. But no, AND they put me on IV fluids. I felt hostile every time I had to pee.

They also put me on a low sodium diet so ordering food was kind of like Whac-a-Mole. Who cares if it says low sodium on the menu, YOU CAN’T HAAAAAVE IT! It was almost entertaining.

And so it goes.

Even though I’ve been home several days I never know where I am. I seem to have created a combination home/hospital portal that I am living in.

Onward.

Love,
Cynthia